the still small voice...

Evidently this blog has become a journal of sorts for me. So, for all those Moms out there that are "over protective" keep it up. :) I was in a situation where I had to make a decision and had I not listened to that "still small voice" I might be mourning the loss of my little Jaeda. 

I was going out to a birthday party and had the sitter coming after the girls were in bed. I thought I would just ask my neighbor to keep an ear out for the girls while I ran and got the babysitter. Well my neighbor wasn't around. SO I sat there contemplating running and grabbing the sitter and letting the girls sleep. It is a 10 minute drive round trip and thought they would probably just sleep soundly. Well, I couldn't follow through. Luckily the sitters Mom brought her over. 

I was asked if I could bring the babysitter home when I returned because it would be so late. I told her that wouldn't be a problem. The entire time I was at the party I just had a BAD feeling about it. Finally I got the nerve to ask a friend to come and give my babysitter a ride home. 

As my friend pulled out of the driveway with my babysitter...... I heard Jaeda in the bedroom start coughing almost immediately. The cough sounded like a full blown croup cough. I was caught off guard because she hasn't been sick at all. I ran in there to comfort her and get her a glass of water. The coughing continued but then turned into extremely labored breathing. She was maybe getting in 1/4 of her normal breath. I immediately knew it wasn't just a coughing attack. I sat comforting her and within 30 seconds I could see the color leaving her and her body going limp...... I remembered at that moment we had a nebulizer from a previous illness. I got that going and called 911. It took the full dose of meds to get her breathing somewhat normally again. The ambulance finally arrived and she was still weezing pretty bad and very lethargic. They are not sure what caused it... being that she was sleeping and has not been diagnosed with asthma.  

The thing that kills me..... is that IF I had gone what would I have came home too? :( It makes me sick to even think about it but I just thank God that I didn't ignore that little voice in my head.